“Egao no Hana” - Sakurai Takahiro

I must say, Disneyland is one of the happiest places on earth. 8D I’ll leave more babbling to tomorrow! XDDD

“Egao no Hana” - Sakurai Takahiro

I’ve been falling behind on this list again. I need to catch up three.. or two for the days I missed so I can do today’s tomorrow.. Hmm! Then two for now.

I’m thankful for the That’s Watanabe Flower Show Special CD!

I’m thankful for Sakupyon singing again! I love this song so much!

♥ I’m hungry. Parents locked their room. I can’t weigh myself. oO;;

Gekkabijin 2 - Yusa Kouji x Toochika Kouichi, Narita Ken x Kamiya Hiroshi

TANOSHIMI DA NE~~~~~~~~~

I had no idea Toochika could sound so uke, so completely uke, but OOOOH I do like it!! I’m actually waiting for, well you people should know what I look for in BLCDs often, NARIKEN!!!! HUZZAH MY NARIKEN!! WHERE ARE YOU MY NARIKEN!! Second pairing ne, have to wait, but it’s with Kamiyan!! HE’S SO CUTE IN THIS! Well this whole damn thing is cute. This drama has way too much watery sfx for it’s own good, or MY GOOD PERHAPS? ::coughs:: I’m grinning like my Cheshire Kitty here. Too happy. TOO CUTE! KWEEE CHRISTMAS SETTING! Damn, I’m a sucker.

Fujikei lookalike was on the phone. I had major surrealism RIGHT there. WHOOOA. Like whoa. ::is a mess of weird feelings::

MEANWHILE!!! It’s time for Nariken x Kamiyan!! RABU TAIMU RABU TAIMU RABU TAIMU!!!! I’m so excited!! It’s like it’s my Christmas present. “ORE mo DAISUKI…. Ma~sa~ru~ ::approaches… kissu~~~:: Suki da yo~~” XDDDDD TOO CUTE!!! HEHEHEHEHE. Go Souichirou!! ::roots:: Masaru doesn’t seem to be very happy about this.. kekeke.. but WE ALL KNOW HE LOVES IT!! KIRAI MY ARSE! 8D;;; Hey what happened, Masaru like hurt himself or something? ::rolls:: Don’t run away from Souichirou!! He’s so cute!! I wouldn’t run away! Come back you little..! XDDDD

Okay. I’ll stop blogging while I listen. This isn’t healthy for people who might read my blog… XDDD

WAIT NO! Awwwww Nariken pretending to hit himself with a hammer is TOO CUTE!!! Okay no, I am not thinking Nariken getting hurt just so I can hear that sound again. ::COUGHS:: I’m… I’m a… hopeless… romantic LOSER!!!!!!!!!!! 8DDDDDDDD

“RAIN” - Kishio Daisuke, Namikawa Daisuke

::puppy-eyed all over song:: This stupid song grew on me so badly. Damn you Daisuke’s! XDDD And there’s going to be a single out in November (I think?) by Daisaku and HIRADAI!! OMG!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! *___*!!! My two favourite Daisuke’s!!! Hirakawa and Kishio, just HOW MUCH BETTER can it get! Okay, maybe Daisaku could sing better, but I’m asking too much there. 8D If *all* the Daisuke’s got together and released something, I’d be positively screaming for joy. Uh. Yeah. That. XDDD

SO!!! Thankful list first, I forgot on Thursday, so I have three to list right now. X3

I am thankful for…
1) Hiradai and Daisaku’s upcoming single!
2) Church people and their toiling to check my tire T~T! ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU~~~!
3) Elias!! For being a buddy and all around great guy. ^____^b

So I woke up super late today! Well I woke up earlier to potty and all, but I never really woke up until 1:30pm. Hehe. Uhm. Yeah. Stuff. I got to church a bit late actually, then sat down with one of the two groups to discuss. I was a little irked at the gender divide in Paul’s writing in… 1 Corinthians I think? But yeah, nothing compares with my frustration at the whole women not being ordained thing. 8D Our church does not have a stance on it yet, but… I think it should be brought up and clarified soon. I’m irked. Very. Anyway. Moving on. I was amused at Gabriel dozing off so often while John was talking, and then we had service! I think my handshake is a little too crushing, gotta be nicer, especially the boys ehehehe. Who would’ve known they have such limp handshakes. e_e;;; ::coughs:: Anyway! 8D John’s sermon was a little lengthy today but good, I stayed awake despite eating no food before going to church. Then I pigged out at potluck as usual ehehe. AND THEN!! I found out Ellie and Tim go to my elementary school!!! *_* I’m so excited, I think I’ll ask them updates about school and find some time to go in and ask for job openings or whatever. Ohhh I miss my school!!

Then we had ensemble practice. It’s so fun! People who have never heard me sing low are always surprised when I can… honestly, my normal singing range isn’t high, of course I can go low. 8D I couldn’t hit some of the bass notes though, ehehe. Damn boys, give me your vocal chords. ::shakes fist:: Afterwards, I commissioned some help to check out my tire that was nearly flat yesterday. Guess what? TWO NAILS IN MY TIRE ARGH. TWO!!! It didn’t lose a lot of air pressure since yesterday, so after much consulting and stuff, we decided that it’ll be okay if I get it fixed tomorrow. My uncle said he has to take his car to a body shop too so he’ll come with me. ♥ Yay! I don’t want to go to a mechanic by myself bleh. I don’t want to get ripped off because I don’t know jack about cars. Too bad Storm isn’t around, I’d ask him for help, being a mechanic and all. 8D;;; Then had dinner afterwards as usual, Christie’s better now, so yay. ^__^

And now I’m home. Tired. Will go to church to go to mechanic with my uncle tomorrow, and then vegetarian cooking class? That seems so weird to me. ::scratches head:: Kinokuniya doesn’t have my special order of LOVE yet, erhur, so I won’t be going to Little Tokyo as I had planned before. Oh well, it’s okay. I’ll call them tomorrow morning to ask maybe, maybe.

“Yukifuru Machi no Ceremony” - Hirakawa Daisuke

O_O!!! KAWAKAMI-SAN!! GET WELL SOON~~~! T~~~~T!!!!!!!!!!! ::sends a billion hearts over the ocean::

“Ienai Kotoba” - Seki Tomokazu

I watched Kate Beckinsale’s version of Emma just tonight, borrowed it from library, and LE SIGH! The smarmy Mr. Frank Churchill or the ever so right Mr. Knightley? I thought about it, because back then, I didn’t. I didn’t think about these two stereotypes to being my preference, and yet yup, here they are. The smarmy gentleman and the manly gentleman. XDDDD Difference? The smarmy man’s self is too similar to my own, and the just man is, how shall I say, just right. ::rubs head:: As I’m giving this a thought, I would love to snag a smarmy one because I wouldn’t be so influenced by his charm but set on whipping him straight, but the other one is so much less work! Weird. Comparing dream men, and only to find that one is completely and utterly too much work, despite how much I like it. So, tell me something, where do I stand? I don’t know, actually.. I really don’t know. Considering that one of my past choices is similar to the just one and yet as far from it as possible at the same time. Oi. Headache. Too much. Why can’t my life be simple and find whom I truly love, but then let’s not go into that now, shall we? My story ended in heartbreak and heartbroken I remain.

Problem solving…

I wrote a tiny drabble on impulse just now for my boys. ♥ I forgot to link the last one too, so I’ll link now.

SquallxZell fics
>> Push and Go
>> Peace and Quiet

Fuwa!! 8D Yeah. I like my short little drabble more even though it’s rather OOC at the end. I couldn’t pick a better jolly tune to use… so I just used what came to mind. Erhur. I hope somebody reads~!!!

So today has been relatively okay paced. And see, I *was* pms’ing and not just going out of my mind yesterday! Yeaaah, bleeding. 8D ::rolls:: My coworkers think I look happier today, so that’s a good thing I think? I must’ve looked rather grouchy for the past few days or something. Well, I really was rather moody, but thank goodness I’m not today. I’m soooo looking forward to Disneyland!! I get more excited as each day passes! I even feel like counting down, oh dear. ONE MORE WEEK!! Teehee. ♥ Thirty more minutes! I mean! XD;;;

I had Quizno’s Raspberry Chipotle Chicken Flatbread Salad again today. Oh gods, so yummy, and bloated. VERY bloated. o_O;;; Damn endometrium doesn’t make it any better. But good food either way. I didn’t finish it, but I will later for dinner, probably straight after work. I think I want to drive to the library, finish my salad, and borrow a book. Yeaaah, that sounds ideal. :3 Oh! I bought Orbit gum from CVS, Maui Melon Mint flavour. *_* I don’t know if I like this more than the Citrus Mint, but this one’s pretty good too. A little too sweet if anything, but that’s all right. I really cannot stand the Trident gum I bought before, so I’m avoiding it like the plague if I can help it. x__x;;;

Anyway, it’s really thirty minutes now. I’m going to wrap up and such, althought there’s really nothing to do and that’s why I’m typing up a storm here. ^_^;;; Ah, the sadness of it all, talking to myself day after day. XD;;

“Purizumu” - Kishio Daisuke, Morita Masakazu

http://www.montou.net/otakon/2008/celina/

For my browsing leisure later. ^0^!!

“Hono’o no Namida de Nakijakure” - Takahashi Naozumi

Okay, trying here, bear with me please. I’m thankful for havng something to look forward to… a requested day off and Disneyland!!! ♥

“Cendrillon” - Kishio Daisuke

What an ugly sin I’m committing, WRATH! Okay, more like quietly enraged, but still. ::pulls hair:: It’s infuriating! Because the more angry I get at being angry it’s just.. well you get it, don’t you? I have to say, I’ve been angry at my mother for over a month now, or something like that, and she doesn’t seem to have a fucking clue. Honestly, I don’t have anything specific I’m angry at either, so it’s not like I can tell her, I’m just angry. I’m angry that I exist and that she tramples and runs my life, I’m angry that she exists, I’ve just been a very angry person lately. I don’t know if my depression is lifting, because, well, this is a change, but I don’t really know what I’m going through either. It’s a series of ups and downs and everything. ::shrugs:: Frankly, right now, I could care less. I noticed that I’m not eating properly during the week, like at *all*, which is extremely rare for me. I don’t mean binging and eating unhealthy, I mean not eating enough. My weight’s been like a yo-yo lately because of this psuedo-starving myself and then pigging out on the weekends when I go to church and socialize with people. Hah, that’s funny, me, socializing. I think I’m trying to kill myself without being too obvious, but even that I’m not sure about. ::scratches head:: I keep thinking that maybe I’m trying to lose weight, but I’m definitely not doing that as I eat like a pig over the weekends. Ironically, I don’t care. Maybe I want to die, who knows. I’m tired of being sad and I’m growing tired of being angry. Crying inexplicably everynight isn’t normal, is it? Sometimes I really don’t know why and I’ll start crying, sometimes I know damn well why and bawl my eyes out. I’m not sure why I’m still hung over this, you know, there’s really no reason for me to care like this at all, yet somehow, I find the energy to care. Care. Love. Whatever. I never get any back, so why should I care? Why should I love? Why, indeed.

I’m tired. I need another mental break. I need to fall into a coma or something.

I dropped to 145 pounds, and I ate lunch today. I was at 152 Sunday night. I don’t exercise at all. This is definitely not normal. >_>